Day 50 58, Round 4..NO! we mean 5! Round FIVE
Everybody's Certifiable

click this line if you can't hear the MIDI

Secretary of State Sam Reed, a Republican, certified Democrat Christine Gregoire, the three-term attorney general, as the winner of the closest governor's race in Washington State history. She won a statewide hand recount by a scant 129 votes out of more than 2.8 million cast.

While there were mistakes, Reed told a news conference, "at this time there is nothing that appears fraudulent."

I LOVE Washington Applesauce. Glad it all worked out. Guess we can call it a day with that one.

Maybe yes, maybe no. Still early in the game.

Early! This has been going on for 58 days. It beats the record set by that one four years ago involving...what were their names again?

Can't remember. Apparently this year's election stamped out any lingering doubts from that election and nobody really cares anymore. History has smoothed it all over and everybody's going back to whatever it is they think they remember about any of it.

About what?

Never mind.

But thisRepublican guy, Rossi, ain't giving up, Boof! Look, it says here on my script that he won't concede. What's that mean?

Nor sure, Foof. I'd like to go to our gal in the field, Chocolata Almond Cookie, but she got bored with this days ago and went sking in the Italian Alps.

Wow! I hope she doesn't run into any of those Anti-Amerigo camps...how did that Truffle thing work out, by the way?

Oh, the Amerigos and Columbos got together for high-level talks regarding what to do about the Gazpacho cartel. Last I heard they were still separating the linguini from the spaghetti. It'll be a while before anything gets sorted out. They've still got the truffle on ice.

Fungi don't freeze well.

What can be done? You know how negotiations like this go. Could be years before they finally trowel the truffle. But, we'll stay on top of it, more or less.

(Smacks Foofy upside the head.)

We're in the middle of a newscast, stop side-tracking me!

Sorry. Back to the Washington Recount thing again. Where were we?

Um...counting...counting...counting...round one, two, three...Oh, HERE we are (clears throat):

Apparently Mr. Rossi called himself governor-elect and he and the Mrs. had already toured the governor's mansion. Mrs. Rossi had ordered new curtains for the bedroom and they felt such actions gave Mr. Rossi a de facto right to the title.

Ooooo. What kind of curtains?

Blue chintz, with gold tassles. Very tasteful.

I'll say. Was she going to wallpaper also?

No. She didn't want to be too extravagant with the taxpayers money. So she made certain the new curtains would go well.

(Stops. Remembers where he is, turns back to camera)

Mr. Rossi called for a completely new vote, but Governor-elect Gregoire's spoksman stated, "This ain't golf. No mulligans allowed here, folks. It's irresponsible to spend $4 million in taxpayer money on a new election just because you don't like losing this one."

He's got a point. And horrible grammar. I'd expect something more distinguished from one's campaign manager. Mulligan stew is excellent with truffles and shrimp, by the way...(pauses)... and MACKERAL.

So, I've heard. We can probably end this report here because this is likely to go on for weeks. Mr. Rossi has until 10 days after Ms. Gregoire is sworn in as governor to file a grievance over the contest.

What happens if he wins? I mean, wouldn't Ms. Gregoire be in office for like months, maybe years before something like that is settled?

Who can tell. I suppose Mrs. Rossi can put those curtains on layaway until the matter is settled. Some people just don't know when to let something go. Hopefully, no calls for head-bashing will be involved. Nor will anybody threaten to defect to Canada as a result of the outcome.

Mr. Rossi wants a new election, stating "The uncertainty surrounding this election process isn't just bad for you and me -- it is bad for the entire state. People need to know for sure that the next governor actually won the election."

Seems I've heard THAT argument before. Time to move on, Boofy. Is there a word from our sponsor?

Yep. We've a new one. InstaFood got bored. By the way, are we meeting the boys for poker or bridge tonight?

Don't know. I just know I'm bringing the beer. Somebody kill the midi.