We do this every four years you know. This 'peaceful transfer of power' thing.
Um, it's good that it's peaceful and all...

click this line if you can't hear the MIDI

Boofy:

Tomorrow, George Bush is being reinaugurated as President of the United States again.

Foofy:

Didn't we do this, like, um...4 years ago?

Boofy:

We did.

Foofy:

Why are we doing it again? Haven't we learned anything?

Boofy:

Apparently not.

Foofy (sighing):

Okay, so how many inaugural balls will there be?

Boofy:

Twelve. (checks paper) I think.

Foofy:

Any speculation on the gowns?

Boofy:

No. They're really expensive. Can't remember how much. A lot of schmoleans.

Foofy:

How's the country doing?

Boofy:

Unemployment is scary, but that's supposed to change. And my 401K looks about the same as it did last year and the year before. But, he claims that will get better. And, um...everybody in the world hates us, but he doesn't care much about that, so it doesn't matter. Oh! We're still at peace over there in Iraq. The longer our victory goes on, the worse it gets.

Foofy:

This victory thing is really harsh. We should lose next time.

Boofy (dropping cheek to hand):

Lessee, what else...The deficit is really really large. I mean, really large. Like it's hard to believe we managed a deficit so high after the surplus at the end of Clinton's term.

Foofy:

Lynn Cheney says that when a system like Social Security starts paying out more than it's taking in...it's scary.

Boofy:

You mean, like our current deficit?

Foofy:

Right. She's worried Social Security won't be there for her kids when they're ready to retire.

Boofy:

She's a millionaire. Many times over. Can't SHE give her kids a few bucks if they need it?

Foofy:

One would think so, but maybe they're on the outs. What do I know? She says by the year 2018, Social Security will be operating at a deficit.

Boofy:

Like our current economy.

Foofy:

Uh huh. So we have to work on it NOW. It's a crisis because it's going to happen in 13 years.

Boofy:

Unlike our current economy which is kinda in the toilet like...now.

Foofy:

We could go to Chocolata Almond Cookie. I think she's still awake.

Boofy:

She went shopping. Doing her bit for the economy. She's putting it on her credit card. Then she's going to declare bankruptcy and complain it's the credit card company's fault for giving her the credit.

Foofy:

I hear that they've decided that 70,000 people in Indonesia who went missing after the Tsunami are actually dead.

Boofy (buffing nails):

Where did they think they were? In the forest having tea?

Foofy:

They say lots more are still missing. Guess they're not having tea either, huh, Boofy?

Boofy:

Guess not. So, our government is rising to the challenge and committing resources worthy of her to the relief effort?

Foofy:

Huh?

Boofy:

You know, in response to the thousands and millions of Americans who called their legislators and expressed their outrage at the embarrassing amount of our contributions.

Foofy:

Excuse me?

Boofy:

You mean, they didn't call?

Foofy:

Call who? They're all busy making symbolic gestures and thinking they can do something about all those conservative judges expected to hit the benches soon.

Boofy:

You really think so?

Foofy:

Nope. I think they're all admiring Laura's gown tonight, which is a truly stunning copper-colored number which looks great on her. Guess you can lay aside your concerns about her wearing another tacky blue number tomorrow night.

Boofy:

That's a relief. You know, the twins are really pretty when they're sober.

Foofy:

Agreed. So. Is that the news?

Boofy:

I think so.

Foofy:

Would you call us a nation sharply divided?

Boofy:

I'd call us a nation sharply bored to tears. I think we went into those voting booths, flipped a coin and pulled a lever.

Foofy:

So, has anybody figured out how many Kevlar Vests we could buy for our troops with the amount of money we're spending on that inaugural?

Boofy (wandering off):

Hmmmm?

Foofy (looking up):

We misspelled Doggerel in the opening credits.

(Sound of beer bottle popping open offstage)

Foofy (following the sound):

I think we might have misused the word also...don't matter, the president wouldn't know anyway...

(Sorry we have no sponsor tonight. The crew went home early. They all left their irons turned on. Sorry. We'll be back when something happens that anybody cares about. Maybe something about Scott Peterson or Michael Jackson...um...turn out the lights for us when you leave?)