A Division of the FOTWA News Service
December 11,2004
Yep, this based on a real story.
Shrimp Roulette
Day 9, we think. Might be Day 10 or 11
click this line if you can't hear the MIDI
Foofy:
We interrupt programming to bring you the following update from the FOTWA news service:
Boofy:
Canada barred ships from Denmark, the Faroe Islands and Greenland from its ports a week or so ago, escalating a long-standing dispute over shrimp caught outside Canadian jurisdiction. A vessel from the Faroe Islands had resumed what Canada considers an illegal shrimp fishery in international waters the previous day. But Faroese officials say they had no choice after Canada failed to fulfil its promise to back the small nation in its fight for a fair share of the European quota.
Foofy:
A spokesman for the organization Faroese United For Fair Fishing Strategies (FUFFFS) stated today during a tense confrontation just outside Canadian shipping lanes:
"You have to understand this is an integral part of our national culture. Shrimp cocktail is a traditional dish served at weddings banquets and fishing net dedications. The very foundation of our existence as a people is threatened by this Canadian aggression."
Boofy:
The Greenland division of that group -- the GUFFFS, as well as Mother Denmark's division - McDUFFFS have formed the Greenlanders and Danes Against War Over Faroese Fishing Activity or the GADAWOFFA.
Foofy:
We cut now to correspondent in the field - Chocolata Almond Cookie. Chocolata, what is the current state of the dispute?
Chocolata:
It's getting nasty, Foofy.
Foofy:
Are those fires we see in the the background?
Chocolata:
Damn straight, it's colder than a day in the Senate Hearing Room on deck. Every trashcan in on the ship is being used for bonfires. Just a few minutes ago, I filmed this actual exchange between Faroese Fishermen and Canadian officials:
"Unhand that shrimp!"
"Never!"
This could get ugly, Foof. Word on the high seas is that the shrimp have taken a cook hostage and are bunkered in the holds of the ship demanding the right to list their grievances.
Boofy:
Any idea who has jurisdiction, Chocolata?
Chocolata:
It's a complicated legal matter, but at the moment it appears the Shrimp hold all the garlic-butter sauce. Back to you.
Boofy:
In March 1995, Canada seized a Spanish trawler in international waters and arrested the captain in a dispute over turbot fishing.
Foofy:
Man! Remember all the nastiness over the island with the puffins, Boofy? Involved Canada, the United States and a guy from Maine?
Boofy:
I guess we can take the admonishment, 'Don't mess with Canada' as wise counsel, Foof.
Foofy:
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